Letting Go of a Friendship

Introduction
Generally letting go can be a powerful thing. You can let go of a friendship, career, or state of mind. In this post, I will focus on letting go of a friendship. It is a good practice to let someone go if this person causes you ongoing grief, stress, or hurts you in some way. If it is the right thing to do, you’ll feel it in my heart and soul. Anyone can be toxic to you regardless if they are in your family or not. I have let go of four people in life and one of them was a family member. This is not an easy decision and I do not do this lightly. I have met people who hang too tightly to others who are not good for them. This is why I was guided to write this article. Sometimes you have to ask yourself that hard question, "Is it time to let this person go?"

Friendships
Keep in mind that every friendship can serve a purpose in your life. You will ultimately learn a lesson from everyone you come in contact with. We are all here to learn. Sometimes people may not always have your best interests at heart and can be toxic to you. With most friendships I have had, I am so incredibly thankful for the learning experiences they have given me.

You may also come into contact with someone that makes you think, "I’m grateful I met this person, because they are showing me who I don't want to be.” or “I don't want to be perceived by others in the same way that I am perceiving them." Maybe you don’t let them go, but you can be the observer and learn that way.

I suggest you make a list of your friendships. It is a good exercise to go through. You can also prioritize what friendships you want to foster and grow. I have done this many times and it has helped me to recognize who I have in my life and who is important to me. Your friendships ultimately can determine what your life experience will be.

Deciding to Let Go
Deciding to let go of someone is very hard, but important to investigate if they are toxic. For the person on your mind, you will want to ask yourself many questions. I recommend using a pen and paper for this exercise. Some questions you may ask are:

• "Is this friendship benefiting me or hurting me?"

• "How toxic are they to me?" If you determine that this person is toxic, abusive, stealing your energy and generally not good for you, then that would be a clear sign to investigate further.

• "Is this person in my life for my highest good?"

• "Am I learning anything from this person or are they learning from me?" If you get a yes to either of these, ask yourself what you are learning or teaching someone.

• “Do I have anxiety when I’m around this person?”

• "Are they going to be someone whom I expect to be in my life forever or were they just here for a part of my journey?"

• "How do I currently feel about this person?"

• "How will I feel after letting go of this person?"

• "Can I change my mind after I let them go?" This depends on the person and you may not be able to rebuild a friendship after letting go. Sometimes you cannot go back, so it is good to determine if it is worth the risk. However, don't let this finality deter you from making this decision if it is right for you.

Once you answer these questions, it should give you some good information on how you feel about this person. Then you can determine what to do.

Ways to Let Go
If you decide to let someone go, there is a multitude of ways to let go of a friendship. You can do some or all of these.

You can talk to them in-person, have a phone call, or email them. You may say why or you need space. You can decide if you want to tell them why, but sometimes you don't need to do this. In some cases, they may already know unconsciously why you will distance yourself.

You can stop all contact, choose not to initiate, and hope they don't contact you back. This is the easiest route, but you may feel that there are unresolved words that should have been said before cutting ties.

You can technically block them.

• Block their phone number, so they cannot call or text you.

• Block their email address, so they cannot email you.

• Block them from all social media, so they cannot see what you are doing or talk about you. Out of sight, out of mind. Well, hopefully. Technically blocking them can be drastic, but if they really want to find you, believe me, they can. We do live in 2025 after all.

Above all else, if you choose to let someone go, you need to mentally release them. You need to stop thinking about them. Don't talk about them to anyone. You don't want to keep a place in your brain for them to live. Mentally kick them out of your brain. I suggest you visually do this in your mind if they pop in there. I suggest writing a letter about your feelings to this person and then burn it. By doing this, you are releasing your words out to them and to the Universe. This is very therapeutic. I have done this even for people I have not let go.

If you let them go, in most cases you will know right away if it was a good decision. I'm not saying that it won't hurt. It probably will. You will feel their absence. You may second guess your decision. However, you could also think it was the best thing and feel like a weight was lifted off your shoulders. You may not feel any hurt whatsoever.

Will they come back?
Sometimes after you do this, they can come back into your life. They may choose to initiate this or you may choose to initiate it. The Universe can also step in and orchestrate a union between you. If this happens, then ask yourself, "Why?". If they don't come back, then accept it was meant for you to let them go. If you initiate contact, then ask yourself a set of questions as to why the friendship is important to you and what you are willing to tolerate.

Should I allow them to come back?
It really depends on the situation. This person could be in your life for a reason or perhaps not. This person could just be here to take from you. This person could be here to connect you to another person, then fade away again. Know that if they try to come back, then there is another set of questions you need to ask yourself. If they are truly not good for you, then say your peace again and wish them well. Keep in mind that people can change. I highly suggest you hear them out, then make your decision based on the information you get. You could also be in a more healed state when they come back, so you might want to take that into account.

Conclusion
Letting go of a person is usually difficult, but it is sometimes necessary for you to be healthy. Keep in mind that you should still forgive the person even if you choose let them go. This practice of forgiveness is for you and not for them. This is to bring you peace. It may be a hard thing to let someone go, but in the end, it could be the best decision for both you and them.

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