Trust

Introduction
Trust has been a theme popping up and wanted to address it. Trust is one value that I have always held in the highest regard. Trust can be difficult and there could be a spiritual reason for it.

How do you trust?
How do you trust someone? Do you trust them right when you meet them or do you need ample time before they deserve your trust? Everyone seems to have a different answer. My immediate answer is that I don't trust them right away. I find that this is the same answer that people give if they have been hurt or betrayed. However for some, they will put all of their trust in that person until they do something to break that trust. The question is, which are you?

Trust & Spirituality
Some come into this life not trusting anyone. This can be due to past life experiences of betrayal. If you think that you have trust issues that you cannot fathom as to why, then you may want to explore your past lives to learn more about where it comes from.

The Universe could put people in your path that purposely betray you to teach you something about yourself or how you react to others. When I look back on my life, I sometimes wonder if I was betrayed so I could understand where my feelings were on it and how I was going to change my actions. Or perhaps it was just an experience I needed to have to feel certain emotions or to have more empathy to others who have had similar experiences. Feeling every emotion is part of the process of being here, even if they are negative feelings.

Trust & Love 
Keep in mind that if you don't trust, then you put walls around your heart and you don't let love in. This could be with anyone in your life like a friend or a romantic partner. I unconsciously put up walls my whole life. This was due to early childhood wounding and I find that this is quite common. I kept people at arms distance for a majority of my life and had a fear of being vulnerable. I did not have deep connections and most were at a surface level. I recognized that I had walls up and have worked on breaking them down.

When I make a list of a perfect life partner, I place trust (and honesty) in the number one slot of character attributes. You may think that everyone does that, which is untrue. Some put being a loving, supportive or caring partner first. If a partner cannot trust fully, then it can break up healthy relationships. Even the smallest notion of distrust can be very damaging. I have first hand experience with this and this may be something you can relate to.

Trust & Business 
Trust and business go hand in hand at least in the corporate world. At offsite functions, teams will do “trust falls”, which I think is quite comical. You need to trust that your manager has your back and supports you. When you are a manager, you must trust your direct reports to do their job. Otherwise you are not being a good manager. Trust in the workplace is very challenging for me as I have been betrayed in my career multiple times. I am super cautious and probably too cautious in some circumstances. What I have learned is that it is required to trust in the business world. If you do not trust, then it can have negative consequences on your career.

Look Within
It is important to look within and recognize if trust is an issue for you. You may unconsciously have walls up as I did. If you do, then you may not be experiencing a full life with deep relationships. Yes, there is a risk, but it is worth the risk. It is similar to the question, "Is it worth it to love and get hurt than to never love at all?" A good reminder. If you aren’t sure of your feelings around trust here are some questions to ask yourself:

1. Can I trust someone immediately? If not immediately, then soon thereafter?

2. Do I feel safe to have deep conversations?

3. Will someone use information I give them to hurt me in some way?

4. Do I feel safe to trust when it comes to love?

5. Do you feel it is safer not to be your true self with your partner rather than fully trust that they will accept you as you really are?

6. How do I know if a person is a friend or foe?

7. Do I feel like most people are going to take advantage of me?

8. Did someone do anything that would make me not want to trust them? If not, then why do I feel this way towards them?

Answer these questions. If you find that you struggle with this, then journal on what actions you can take to more easily trust others. This could be a wound that you need to heal.

Conclusion
Trust is tricky and can be challenging for some. However trust is necessary to have good and impactful experiences. Now this doesn't mean to blindly trust and you can certainly be cautious, but do not completely close yourself off either. First recognize your feelings on trust and then practice taking down those walls. Be open and allow yourself to trust, for it will open so many new doors for you. Trust me. :)

elysamurdock.com